Legend of Zelda: Modern Age Madness
by thnx4nthingagn
Summary: When some kids are taken to Hyrule by Link, They find out they are desendants of important people in Hyrule. Through Castles, Temples and Dungeons they will go, who knows what they will find. Written in firstperson format. Please R&R!
1. Crazy Morning

Legend of Zelda: Modern Age Madness Chapter 1- Crazy Morning

Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda, Hyrule, Link, N64 and everything else related; Nintendo owns them. I do own myself, MY N64 and the extra dungeons, temples, and castles. Yah! CartoonNetwork owns Billy and Mandy; Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy and Camp Lazlo. I may use the idiotism from those shows during the story. I might take some ideas from other stories, but I consider copying a complement. Earth owns Earth. My hometown owns itself. And everything owns everything… this is getting really retarded.

Note- I am using a fake name. Not my real name.

Just another ordinary day. Get up, go to school, come home, and go to bed. One day after another. Nothing new, nothing old. But one day is entirely different. Gasp! I am walking to school when… oh well; I'll go into detail.

Whistle, Whistle. Yes, I do need a hobby. "Man I can't believe how far I got on LoZ last night." I said. Yes, I do talk to myself. Then suddenly heard galloping. That isn't something you hear everyday. I turned to see some maniac riding a horse galloping ever nearer. He/She (Couldn't Tell…) looked vaguely familiar. Hmmmm… But this isn't the best time to think. Now's the time to run! So, I ran.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed. But the guy on the horse came right next to me. He knocked me out with a hard hammer. "Oh my spleen! My head. My Arm…" I yelled. I then groggily passed out.

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Two Hours Later

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Four Hours Later

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Five Hours Later

"Bacon Double Cheeseburger!" I exclaimed.

I had passed out for five hours. How did I know? I wrote this fiction, don't yell at me because I am the author! … All right, got my composure back. Hurrah…

The first thing I noticed was that I was going up, and down. Like I was on… Oh no, the horse. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The horse is gonna get me! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed.

"Relax. You are **_NOT_** going to die." A voice said from the front. Then the person turned to look at me. That person was Link. "I have **_seriously_** been playing my N64 too long." I said. No it was really him, I smacked myself a couple of times to make sure. Nope… still there. "Ok. I've established that Link is talking to me. Now I need to know why?" I said smoothly and sarcastically. "I must be dreaming." Another smack to make sure. ("Oh, my face! Owww…") Nope, still there. I had to've wasted ten minutes doing this. I truly am a time waster. Yah!

"Okay, kid; here's the deal. You do know a lot of the story of Hyrule, yes?" Link said. I nodded. "Well each of you is a descendant of a important person in Hyrule." Each of you? What did he mean by 'each of you'. Then I noticed two other kids on the horse. Oh joy. Oh crap. I **_NEVER_** notice important things at first. This isn't the time for a 'Take Two'. Or an 'Action'!


	2. Intro to Your Fate

Chapter 2- Intro to Your Fate

Disclaimer- I do not own Zelda, Hyrule, Link, N64 and everything else related; Nintendo owns them. I do own myself, MY N64 and the extra dungeons, temples, and castles. Yah! CartoonNetwork owns Billy and Mandy; Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy and Camp Lazlo. I may use the idiotism from those shows during the story. I might take some ideas from other stories, but I consider copying a complement. (Cut and paste.)

"Okay. So each of you is… well almost a god in Hyrule. Now Joe, (he was talking to me) you are the descendant of Zelda, princess of Hyrule." Link said

"Cool! I'm royal!" I said.

"James, you are the descendant of Daurnia, sage of fire." Link said.

"Nice…" She said.

"And finally, Janet, you are the descendant of Ruto, sage of water." Link said.

"No wonder she looks so hot in a biki…" Smack! He got hit.

"Well, I wouldn't put it that way… You are all important people in Hyrule. Anyway, I need you all to help me in a job given to me by Zelda." Link said.

"What job do you have to do?" I asked.

"Not 'you', 'we'. _WE_ have to save Hyrule from a terrible fate!" Link said.

"**_WE_** always do!" I said.

"Anyway, the Dark Force of Ganon has escaped into the real world, and we need your help. WE need to unmark every Dark Seal from the ancient sites of the gods and sages. You know, every dungeon, and temple, plus new dungeons, temples and even castles! It'll be cool." Link explained.

He suddenly stopped his horse and got off of it. He laid 3 shiny, color filled crystals on the ground in the shape of a triangle. Then he put some dirt in the center of the crystals from a pouch. He collected some Earth dirt and put it in the pouch. "And now we wait?" I asked.

"And now we wait." Link said.

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Time to wait!


	3. Dresses and Scimitars

Chapter 3- Scimitars and Dresses

Disclaimer- I don't own Zelda and related. I do own me and the extra dungeons and such. I do own the weapons bestowed unto us in this chapter. I like creamed carrots.  Yah!

I think I've covered everything.

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We had waited for about three hours, and nothing had happened. "When will something happen?" I finally asked. "Soon, we have to wait 'till midnight, so wait a few more minutes." Link said. "Okay… I guess." I replied. Suddenly, there was a moonbeam from the moon that shone down of the patch. The 3 colored crystals shone in colors that were circling the dirt. The dirt levitated and formed a frame in the shape of a circle and pretty metallic colors in the center. Purdy. Where the portal was the light shined as bright as daylight. ("Cool! Bright light with no UV!") "This is it. You can enter the portal every one. This is the portal to Hyrule." Link said. So we all entered. I suddenly found myself falling down nothing.

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I finally woke up. I was lying in a cave. The first thing I noticed was that I had a Scimitar next to me with a note jammed in it. I took out the note. It read:

_Dear Joe,_

_I know that your trip here was partially harsh, but you must stay strong! Now provided with you is a pack filled with enough food to last you a couple of days. Also provided is a scimitar that I hope you'll like. It is made with fine quality and will never break! Everyone is waiting at the bottom so go to see them! By the way, sorry about the dress and crown, but you were supposed to be born female. I'll explain when you get to Hyrule Castle._

_Love,_

_Princess Zelda_

Zelda, Princess of Hyrule

Then, I noticed that I was wearing a dress. It was similar to the one I'd seen Zelda wear in Video Games. I wasn't just wearing a dress; I was a girl, well… um… parts and all. Okay… This is… abnormal. But I got a cool sword! In any event, I slung the knapsack and sword (and sheath ?)Please correct me if I am wrong! over my shoulder. And started out of the cave. After emerging, I looked over the edge. I saw everyone waving. I am kinda afraid of heights, so I was kind of intimidated. I climbed down ledge by ledge, until near the bottom. From there I trekked down because there were two boys at the bottom. I didn't want them to see down my, erm… dress. It took my about seven minutes to get to the bottom.

"Hey Joe, what's with the dress?" James said. He was a… Goron? Freaky. Well, Janet was a Zora, so it looked like everyone was supposed to look like their ancestor.

"See for yourself. I think that it is supposed to look like everyone is supposed to look like their ancestor." I said while handing him the letter. He read it over. "You have a scimmer-whatta-kahoozzie?" He said while handing me back the letter.

"Scimitar." I worded, "Arabian-like sword, dude. 'Sept mine has ridges and spikes and ridges on it."

"Never mind," Janet said, "Lets go!"


	4. Items Recieved And Forgotton

Chapter 4- Things I need to say.

Link received the Health Pendant. This pendant can restore health to any comrade. Equip it with C.

**Joe received the Dragon Scimitar. This is a present from Princess Zelda to fend yourself with. It has ridges and spikes and ridges on it. Set to B.**

**James received the Biggeron's Blade. It is a sword that is two handed. Very long. Set to B.**

**Janet received the Zora's Fin-Blade. It is a sword that Zora warriors have wielded in the past. She gets to try it out for her 'people'. Set to B.**

Joe/James/Janet received the Life Pendant. This gives you Three Whole Hearts. And reduces damage from 2x to only 1x. Permanently Equipped.


	5. Hyrule Castle

Chapter 5- Hyrule Castle

Disclaimer-Me no own link, and related. Me own everything else.

Pepper monkeys abduct me for no reason, whatsoever. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I said. … … …

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Okay, three hours later, I return to the house's office to finish my fanfic before bedtime with bananas shoved up my nose. "Alright, I'm back. Mmmmm. These bananas ain't half bad." I said.

Back to the story…

After a three-hour trek through the vast plain wasteland that is Hyrule Field, we finally reach Hyrule Castle. Well, the field in front of Hyrule Castle. With little arguments from the guards, and many second looks, heck **A LOT** of second looks, we finally reach Hyrule Castle. "We have to meet in the courtyard. That's what Zelda said." Link explained.

We finally reached the courtyard. Sure enough, Zelda was waiting. "Welcome to Hyrule Castle." She umm… welcomed. I need a hobby. Yes I do, and I know. She explained what we needed to do in detail.

"Anyway, you all need to head to the forest. A Dark Seal has appeared there. That is all I can do for you. Here take this…

Everyone got a Dark Seal Pendant. This shows everyone where the next Dark Seal is. It also blinks if you are near a Dark Seal.

"Now sleep here tonight. A guard will lead you to your rooms. Except for you Joe. I need to have a word with you about your… well… you! **_GUARD! SHOW OUR GUESTS THEIR ROOMS. NOW!_** C'mon Joe.

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IN ZELDA'S PRIVATE DESSING/ POWDER ROOM

"Anyway. Let's start with a name. How about Joan? Yes, that is your new name, Joan." Zelda said. Then she helped me with my hair. She cut in and put it into a ponytail. She tied the hair with a piece of silky fabric. "Here. Sleep in this room. It doubles as a bedroom. Also, take this, it is a Gerudo outfit. They use it as a battle outfit and you could use it the same way, instead of your dress." Zelda added, "And don't do anything to your hair. If anything happens to it, come back here as soon as possible. Be safe Joan."

Joan receives the Battle Outfit. You can't wear this under your dress, so you'll have to change into it. It is Gerudo clothes that are very useful for battles.

"Good night Joan." Zelda said. She turned out the light and shut the door.

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	6. Joan, Princess of Hyrule

Chapter 6- Joan, Princess of Hyrule

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Disclaimer- I don't own Zelda or Link. Nintendo owns them. I do own the three new characters, extra items and extra places. Don't use them. They are mine! MINE! MINE! Not Yours!

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I wake up. Something was nudging my arm. I found out that Zelda was waking me up. "Wake up sleepyhead. Everyone is waiting for you. I told them about what happened last night, err… about your name that is." Zelda lightly spoke in a way as if I were her kid. Weird. Ahh… whatever. Anyway, I got up, took off my nightgown and put on my dress. I picked up my sword and pack. "Oh… and take these. They are very useful." Zelda said, putting them in my pack.

Joan got the Throwing Knives. They can't be thrown far, but they pack a punch! Equip with C.

"Bye Zelda!" I said. "Goodbye, Princess Joan. Good luck on your Quest!" Zelda replied.

-OUTSIDE-

"Joan! We've been waiting forever!" James said.

"I got throwing knives. See?" I said. I opened my pack and closed once they saw.

"Cool. But I have boomerang fins. So I'm cool." Janet replied.

"Now, everyone needs one of these." Link said. He passed out little flutes that transformed in everyone's hands.

Everyone got the Black Ocarana. It transforms into what the person can play best, or what they can play out of sport. Equip with C.

"Cool. Lets go!" I said.

"Joan's right. Lets go!" Janet said.

Link called Epona, his horse, and we all got on top of her. Except for James, he rolled.

But before we left, a majestic horse came with a note. It said:

_Joan, _

_Take my horse, she is pretty, fast and fit for a princess! Her name is Genna._

Zelda 

"Yo, Link. I'll take this horse, err… Genna." I said.

"Isn't that Zelda's horse." Link said. "Yup." I said. "Okay. Whatever." Janet said.

I jumped on Genna and took hold of the reins. "Geddiup!" I said. The horse galloped fast enough to outrun Link's horse. Genna was my fastest ticket around Hyrule. Nice. On her collar was the song:

/\/\, , /\, High /\/\

Joan learned Genna's Lullaby. This calls Zelda's horse anytime.

"Sparkly." I said, watching the magical dust go by. And then we reached the forest.

When we finally reached the forest, there was an owl on the branch to the entrance. "Hello, Gabora." Link said. **_"Hello Young Ones. You Have Been Sent On A Harsh And Treacherous Quest. At Times, Your Mission May Be Annoying, Greatly Harsh-Planned, And Even Painful. But Do Not Give Up Hope. The Fate Of Hyrule Lies In Your Hands. Take This With You, Don't Worry, I Have Enough For Everyone."_** He explained. Then, he gave out pendants that were previously around his neck.

Link receives the Revival Pendant. This revives as many comrades as you need, but the time taken to revive is slow. Equip with C.

**Joan receives the Hyrulian Stringed Medallion. This is an artifact from her ancestors. It can create good luck for any ancestor of Hyrule Royalty. It also doubles attack strength for the wearer.**

**James receives the Rock Medallion. You can eat it, but you can make rocks of different shapes, like pillars or boulders. Then you can eat them! Equip with C.**

**Janet receives the Fish's Head. This is a good luck charm to Zora's, but it can emit sonic waves at a rapid rate. These waves are so fast; they can create a barrier or erase someone's memory. Equip with C.**

Everyone receives the Owl Feather. You can use this to receive help from Gabora. Link gets to keep it. Equip with C.

"Thanks Gabora." Link said. And with that, he flew away.

"Lets go!" I said.


	7. Into the Forest

Chapter 7- Into the Forest

Disclaimer- I don't own Zelda or anything else. Original places aren't mine neither. I do own the extra characters, extra places and extra items. Don't use them.

When we entered the forest, it was like a whole other world! There were really old people that look 8 years old! These people, kalled the Kokiri, were the protectors of the forest. I think… Anyway upon arrival, Link went to the Deku Tree, and brought back fairies. "Everyone gets a fairy. You can name it whatever you want, but it has to be four letters." Link said. Stupid video game reality… Anyway, mine was a male, so I called him Luke.

Next thing we did was go to the store. Link bought us all a shield and a wallet.

Everyone receives the Deku Shield. It isn't Fireproof, but it is useful anyway, and you'll need it! Set to R.

Everyone also receives the Children's wallet. This holds 99 err… I dunno. But now Link doesn't have to pay for things the little kids need! Cool!

"Now, the place the Dark Seal is supposed to be is here. Since the dungeon that was here isn't here any more. So, our best bet is to go to the Forest Temple. We can take the Express." Link said. Then He pulled out his Ocarina and played a tune. Then some green sparkles came down and swept us away!

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We finally arrived at the forest temple. It took a while to get in because we had to borrow Link's Longshot. It was really cool though, how such a little thing could stretch so far. But since I don't like things going fast, I almost wet myself. But it was fun. "Janet can you come here and help me?" I said. Everyone else went inside and waited. Janet helped me by carrying my stuff while I changed into the Gerudo outfit Princess Zelda gave me. When I was done I grabbed my things and headed inside. Everyone was astounded. "Wow. So Zelda gave you that? You look like a whole other person!" Link said. "Yah, she said my dress would be ruined if I wore it in combat, so she gave me this. It works quite nicely." I said, "C'mon. Lets get going!"

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After a fight with a few monsters, we finally reached the Main Chamber of the Temple. "The Dark Seal Pendant is pointing down. That means we nned to use the elevator." Link said. I had remembered this place from playing it. But something was wrong. "Link, one of the torches isn't on! We can't go down." I pointed out. Heck, **_NONE_** of the torches were on. "We need to find the Poe Sisters. they light the torches." Link said. "Ooh ooh! Yah know what Link, that won't be too hard." Janet said. "Why not?" Link asked. "'Cause they're right in front of us!" Janet Exclaimed.

It was true. They were there. And they picked one of us to use as a lunch. "Charge on the one attacking you. ATTACK!" Link said. At any rate, a few hits from my sword and I was gold. Err... done. Everyone else took longer. When we were done, the torches lit, and the elevator took us down.

"So now what?" I asked. But Link had already bombed the ground beneath the elevator, so we took it down to the Nature Castle.


	8. Triforce Pieces

Chapter 8- Power of the Triforce

Disclaimer- 'I' doesn't own Link and related. 'I' does own the three extra peoples, extra places and extra things.

As we were taking the long elevator ride down, my right palm was burning. When I looked at it, I saw three triangles formed like a pyramid. All were blank except for one, which was filled in gold. The Triforce! I showed my palm to Link. "Link! Check it out." I said, while showing him.

"You have a Triforce piece! Why didn't I get one?" James said, with a whole plate of envy in his voice. You can see the envy green on his face! "You are the descendant of Zelda, so I'm not surprised. She must have passed on some of her Triforce power to her kid, who passed theirs on, and so on!" Link said. "Cool, so everyone in her family has a piece of the Triforce! That's so cool!" Janet said.

"But the power is the same for everyone. Even though it split, it must have regenerated to full power. I can sense the same power coming off of Joan as I can feel coming off of Zelda." Link said. "So, my Triforce piece is the same _intensity_ as Zelda's?" I asked. "Yep. That's right. You have the same amount of energy as Zelda's Triforce has. It is also the same too!" Link said.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Let me put it this way. Zelda has the Triforce of Wisdom. You have the Triforce of Wisdom, as does everyone in you family. Everyone above Zelda in your family tree does not. I think. You all have the same intensity of power in your Triforce for those who have a Triforce piece. Get it?" Link explained, then asked. "I think so…" I said.

_**!Crash!**_

"We're here!" I said.

"The Nature Castle is so…" Janet started

"AWSOME!" We both said together.


	9. Gum Spitting in the Nature Castle

Chapter 9- Nature Castle

Disclaimer- I don't own Zelda and related. I do own myself and everything that is created by me.

"Yahhh! The Nature Castle! Lets go kick some Dark Seal butt!" James said. "It's not that easy. Ganon probably sent some of his strongest warriors to guard the Dark Seals. So don't get your hopes up." Link said.

But the Forest Castle was beautiful. It was like the inside of the Forest Temple except much brighter. There was a Dark Light Coming out of the center. Err… The Castle was a spiral in the room we were in. "C'mon!" I said jumping out of the cart like a ninja, "Lets get going. I sliced through a couple of Keese that were advancing on me. They were child's play. I ran down the spiral, advancing on the Dark light. "Joan, wait!" Link exclaimed, "You can die!" I suddenly stopped. An urge went through me that made me fall over. "Thanks for waiting!" Link said, "Did you know what you were doing? You could've died on your, hey… what's wrong." Link said.

"I've… got… to… go…" I said. "Go where?" Janet asked. "Go… to… the… bathroom…" I barely worded. I couldn't stand, anymore of this and I'd soil my clothes! So I grabbed the Rock Medallion and the Fish's Head. I made a platform of rock and made a barrier around it. When I got there, I went behind the tree on the side of the room, and… well went. It was weird, though. I… well, never… went as a girl… Once I was relieved, I put down the barrier and watched the rock crumble away as I walked off of it. "You done?" Link asked, as I gave back the charms I took. "Yes. Much better." I said. I was so relieved, ahh… how nice it was. "Alright, Lets go." I said. As we progressed down the path, the monsters got harsher. It started with Keese, but soon it turned into multiple Dodongos. "Take this!" I said, putting the finishing touch on defeating a Stalfos. Then a chest appeared for me.

**Joan receives the Magic Star. This gives you a little magic power. Worth 16 units!**

But everyone got a magic star too, 'cept Link. So we all got magic.

Once we got to the bottom, the dark light was stronger than ever. There was a chest there too. Link opened it:

Link got the dungeon map. This shows you rooms you have been and not been in yet. Look at it on the Map Screen.

"Captain Obvious. The _map_ is on the _Map Screen_. Incredible!" I said, looking at the words above.

"Now that _that_ is taken care of, lets look at this here map." Link said. "**_WAIT!_** Who wants gum? I found it in my knapsack. It must have been the only thing that didn't change in the trip here!" I said, "Five rupees a piece! Hey, a girls got to have money!" Everyone forked over the money for it. Link needed two pieces because he swallowed the first piece. He needed instructions on how to chew gum. "You don't swallow it Fathead, just chew it! Spit it out when you're done!" I explained. "Oh…" He said in dismay.

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Five minutes later…

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Ten minutes later…

After ten minutes everyone spat out their gum over the edge and down the bottomless shaft to the bottom of the castle. If the boss had gum on their head, everyone owed me twenty rupees each! Link swallowed his for the sixth time. I had made thirty rupees off of him!

"Okay, now lets take a look at that map!"


	10. Life in a Monster

Chapter 10- Life in a Monster

Disclaimer- I. Don't. Own. Zelda. And. Related. I. Do. Own. The. Stuff. I. Created. Like. The. Extra. Places. And. Items. 'Nuff. Said.

Crap! I'm starting school tomorrow! To bad, I'll have to update less! Sorry, schoolwork and crap like that!

"Okay. Beneath this Dark Hole is a room with lots of Exits. But how do we get past the Dark Hole?" Link said. I had an idea. This I uncommonly do, think that is. I threw a Throwing Knife into the hole. It sunk like quicksand, and then made a **_KLUNK_**ing sound. "Okay! Time to act stupid and save our butts!" I screamed. I yelled out some gibberish, and then jumped into the hole. "HMMMM… c-c-c-c-o-o-o-l-l-d-d-d-d." I shivered. This was freezing! But soon I fell on **_my_** butt. "Ouch1 It's a portal guys! It is cold, and watch your butt, but it is perfectly safe!" I yelled to the above. Then, three figures fell out of the ceiling and hurt their butts too. "**_OWWW!_**" I heard from my comrades upon impact… erm… impacts. I was also wet, as were my friends. But now we were stuck in a dilemma, which way to go? "Link, where to next?" I asked. " The map is all soggy. Can't tell." He said.

There were six doors. "Well, we are going to have to choose." I said. Three doors had locks. The ones with locks had numbers above them. 1, 2, and 3. One door had a big lock on it. That was the boss door. The only ones left were two unlocked doors. One looked so cheesy. It was windows with a suppositive gleaming, smiling sun. Not it. The only one left was a door with a rusty hinge and doorknob. "That one!" I said. We all got up. James went over to the fake one and got hit. Luckily, he put up his shield in time.

We all entered the door. To our surprise, the next room wasn't dark like the last one was. All there was in here were a few torches and a blue Chu-Chu. Then the Dark Deal appeared on the ground. The Chu-Chu got big. Really Big! And then it did the last thing I'd thought it'd do, it swallowed me.

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"Joan! Joan, are you okay?" James asked me. He was bent over me. "You had been knocked out for an hour! We got rid of the Chu-Chu, but we still have a while to go! C'mon, unless you can't walk!"

"No. I'm fine." I said. I was still dizzy. Okay, scratch what I said before. Everyone was bent over me. I got up on my feet, but I fell back over. Luckily, Link caught me. "Thanks." I said. "Anytime." He said.

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After a few falls, we got to the door and started to progress farther through the castle. Finally, we got to another mini-boss. This time, I didn't get eaten. But I did get slimed. It was a Dodongo we had to fight. A _BIG_ Dodongo. When it blew up, I was against the wall. I couldn't afford to die, but Link had a cure! After it blew up, I got slimed by guts. "Disgusting!" I yelled, "AAAUUUGGHHH!" Link had now picked some herbs and mixed them with some water. He put in some powder after. "Here, drink this. It'll give you back energy." He said. "Coffee?" I asked. "Ummm… Kind of…" he said.

"I have ADHD! It'll do the exact opposite!" I yelled. "Well it also regenerates you health." Link said softly. So I drank it. I felt tired, but invigorated at the same time.

"Okay… I'm… woozy, but okay…" I said sleepily. 'By the way, where are the fairies?" I asked.

"They're sleeping at my house, back at the forest." Link said, "They were really tired when we got to the castle, so they went back." "But I'm still here!" Navi said flying out from under Link's hat.

"Okay, lets get going!" Link said.

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After bashing up a few monsters, and finding a few keys, open doors, we finally came to a door with a giant lock. "The boss door! This is it!" Link said. "But where is the key?" Janet asked. "Over there. That shiny chest with the blue body!" I pointed out. It was behind a bunch of vines. Then I realized that we were on towers, and if you fell down… well we can get to that later. I jumped from tower to tower and sliced my scimitar when I got to the vines. The result? Nothing. Zip. Nada. Zero. Because of this, the shock sent me back and my sword dropped. Then a Like-Like came and spat it at my face. Then Link shot an Ice Arrow at it. It froze. Then he shot the vines. "Slice 'em Joan, and quick!" He said. I cut them grabbed the key and got back to the safety of my friends.

Joan got the Boss Key. This opens the Boss Door so you can destroy the boss. Yeah! But there is more than one twist behind that door…

"What is that supposed to mean? I yelled. "Never mind. Let's just go." Link scolded

He unlocked the door. It opened and we entered.

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	11. The Big Boss Battle

Chapter 11-The Big Boss Battle

Disclaimer- I don't own Zelda. But Zelda owns me. Crap, I hate when that happens. But, I do own everything else. Thanks for that, at least that's… mediocre.

When we entered the room, there was no boss. But there was a poem on the wall. So we all read it. It said:

_To those who are a traveling four,_

_Who scour the Earth to find evil more_

_Think about the choices you've made._

_The places you've been, the money you've paid._

_Then fear the one you hate the most,_

_The bully next door, or the cheese on your toast._

_What have you done and whom do you fear,_

_For this will make a difference in here!_

_Each battle for each of you won't be the same,_

_The field could be grass and the sky may have rain._

_In the next room, your foe is alike,_

_But what he does have give you a fright._

_Based on your life and what you have done,_

_You may win or your foe may have won._

_For the enemy is based on your life's own account_

_Because those bad things you've done may be the battlefront._

_Now each of you must enter a door,_

_But only two people can touch the same floor._

_Two people must battle side by side,_

_And watch as your fears really do come alive._

_And when your fears mix, and twist into one,_

_Then the shadows at last get to have fun._

_So watch as you die by your own fear's desire,_

_And be eaten by shadows while burning in evils fire._

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_Good-Bye, Fools!_

Then the wall with the inscription rose just as soon as we were done. Behind it was a torch. While it didn't have a passage, we then saw four doors. "Choose a door everyone! Let's get this creep!" Link said. We all chose a door. Naturally, James couldn't pick because he was a loser. The loser of the group never picks!

Anyway, I traveled down a hallway that twisted and turned. There was always a green streak of light. Only once did I run into Janet, who had a blue streak of light. "Hey," I said. "Hey," She replied. Then we went our ways. Finally, I saw a light and touched down my bare feet, yes bare feet, onto… water? Yeah, it was definitely the wet stuff that everyone loves. Up to my ankles. Oh… did I mention my fall? Yes I fell; the ground was really slimy, under all the water. Then I heard a yell and Link popped out of the other tunnel. "Who-Hoo! What a ride!" He said.

"Umm… Link…" I said. "Yeah?" He asked. "You back is… it's… your back… was slimed." I said, nodding my head at the last two words. I turned around. Anyway, the tunnels had closed up, so this was definitely the boss room. Anyway, I saw two figures. One was a giant pig, and the other was… Link's silhouette. Then the fused into one shadowy figure and came over to my side of the floor. I tripped of course… from the slime and the speed of the figure. Then I saw two more figures.

One was a little white dog. She had curly hair, and a curly tail. A family was around her. The dog was dead. My dog was dead. That was… my worst fear. The other figure was, Zelda dead. My own ancestor dead… They too fused into a dark figure. The two joined in the center of the room, leaving me behind. Then they formed one figure. This figure then became black-and-white, then inked, then colored. Like a comic book. Then white words came up on the screen.

Shadows of Life

-Evil Dream Figure-

"Hjfd ui svd kl!" The thing said.

…

"Get it Joan!" Link said. So I got it. I ran after it. And then I stabbed it. Thoughts of my dog dying flowed through my head. "Noooo!" I yelled. I was thrown back. The 'SoL' then proceeded to slash me. The slash went from the right side of my outfit to my left shoulder. Then the SoL came back and made another slash that went from my left shoulder to the same side waist. This open flap then sagged down, reveling something that I didn't want to have shown. "Whoa… Okay, now I'm blind." Link said. The SoL was having thoughts of slashing me. He then shrugged and pulled out a throwing knife. A throwing knife? While the SoL was trying to smack the snot out of Link with his knives, I pulled off my knapsack. Still blushing, I reached for a few throwing knives. Almost using the idea of a safety pin, I pinned up my outfit. Then I pulled my blade from its holder and beat the living shi…I mean the living snot out of the SoL. While images of my dead dog appeared in my head, I also saw better images and eventually, I saw Link bringing my dog back to life. The SoL wasn't dead though. It just kept splitting. But then I got an idea.

"Link! Throw me Din's Fire!" I yelled, still beating the living snot out of the little freaks the size of garden gnomes. "Why?" he asked. "'Cause you just saw me half naked! That's why!" I yelled. "Fine," he said, "But don't bring that image back into my head. Okay!" And with that he threw me Din's Fire. I did a few grunting noises and poses, my slashed shirt fell down, but Link didn't see. Finally I threw my fist (But not the spell) towards the ground. A flame came and destroyed the gnome-sized SoLs. "Bingo." I said, re-sashing my shirt. Then Background music played noting that we beat the boss. A circle appeared and Link entered it.

"You coming?" He asked. "One sec. I'll be there. I just have to change. I don't think you want to see." I said. "Good point. Later." He said. A crystal formed around him and he flew up. I took off the Gerudo Outfit and took out my dress. Balancing the dress on my head, to avoid getting it slimed, I put the slimy outfit away and put on my dress. I was getting use to it, but it still felt weird in a way.

…

Once everything was in its place I stepped into the circle of light. The my feet were soaked and wrinkled, like when you swim for hours and you fingers are all weird-like-wrinkly. Anyway, I ran out with my feet crystallized. The crystal broke just in time for me to get the Heart Container.

Joan got the Heart Container. This adds one extra heart to your hearts. This also restores all health to full.

Then I went into the circle of light.


	12. The Kiss of Death

Chapter 12- The Kiss of Death

Disclaimer- I don't own Zelda. I don't own NINTENDO. I do own everything else. So don't use everything else!

After I had stepped into the lighted circle, my feet touched down in a place that looked vaguely familiar. Everyone was here. And we were back at… the courtyard? "Glad to see you made it. But, Why are you completely soaked Joan?" Zelda said. "Slimy battlefield… right Link?" I said. "Yeah, I guess so." Link said.

"Anyway, you got rid of the first of many Dark Seals." Zelda said. "How many are there?" Janet asked. "Five." Zelda replied. "By the way, Link told me about the rip in your outfit. I can't do much about it but I'll try. I also heard about your Triforce piece." Oh yeah! I had forgot about that! That was three chapters ago, wasn't it? "Anyway, I'm not surprised. But take this, it will help with your other dilemma." She said.

**Joan received the Hyrulian Dress. This is what Princesses of Hyrule wear. It might come in handy… Equip to Clothes.**

"In any case, after that hard of a mission, I think you need some time off, but not too long, because you need to keep going. I suggest going to Lake Hylia. That is the best place for swimming. We'll have to find a way around non-swimmers, but wait, that's where you need to go. But you'll have to be a kid to get there! I suggest going on vacation as a kid, and then going straight from there to the Aqua Tower. Now go! And hurry, Hyrule's fate lies in your hands!" Zelda said. "Yeah, everyone says that." I said.

We then headed to the Temple of Time. We then entered behind where the Door of Time used to be. "We should join hands, I've never done this with more than one person." Link said. "And one fairy!" Navi said. "Lets all sing 'Kum By Yah', guys!" I said sarcastically.

Link did a few grunts and then put the Master Sword into its place. Blue light swarmed around us and then we went back in time.

…

When I woke up, the first thing I noticed was Janet lying next to me. She looked younger than before. **_I_** looked younger than before. But I still looked like Zelda. Those things never change, do they? Link went from a teenager to a little kid, about eight years old. Then he pulled out his Ocarina and played a few notes. Lots of sparkles… wait, I know that tune… Anyway, sparkles came and swept us away to Lake Hylia.

…

When we got to Lake Hylia, it was more beautiful than I had imagined. There were Zoras everywhere! And there weren't many people around, so we could have as much fun as we wanted! Janet was about to jump in but Link stopped her. "If you jump in, we'll never find you between all the other Zoras! So whatever you do, **DON'T JUMP IN!**" Link said. So she just pouted facing away from Link. Then he put on a mask that looked like a Zora's face. In a matter of a few seconds, and with few grunts, Link had become a Zora, and was way taller than any of us. "C'mon." Zora Link said, "We need to find Ruto. She'll know where to vacation, and where to find the Aqua Tower!"

…

We finally got to the room where Princess Ruto was. She was supposed to be doing her hair. She was standing next to a very… erm, obese fish. Was that supposed to be a Zora?

Link was Link again, no mask. He was, human again. "Hey Link. Who's the fat fish?" I whisperly asked.

"That is King Zora. Don't say he's fat or he'll probably sick the entire Zora army on you!" He whispered back. He went up the stairs and approached Princess Ruto. "So? Did my **most precious possession** help you?" She asked. "Ruto, cut it out! You say that all the time. Every time I talk to you." Link said.

"Don't blame me, blame the people at NINTENDO! So what's up Link?" Ruto said. "Ruto, these are some kids from Earth. They are the descendants of Hyrule's greatest! The Goron is James. He is Daurnia's great-great-great-great grandson! The Zora is Janet. She is your distant granddaughter." Link introduced us. "She looks familiar. So what is Zelda doing here?" Ruto asked.

"Oh, no, no! This is Joan, distant descendant of Zelda, and holder of the Triforce of Wisdom. She is kind of a Princess… I guess." Link said.

"Oh…" she said, then she started to circle Link, "So… whatcha doin' here?"

"Ummm… Zelda sent us here for a break, and then beat the snot out of whoever is in the Aqua Tower. First: do you know where the Aqua Tower is?" Link said.

"And second?" Ruto asked.

"Do you know any good vacation spots?" Link asked. "Maybe, it all depends on what you'll do for me, and maybe I'll tell." Ruto replied.

"Ruto? What do you want?" Link asked impatiently. Than Ruto whispered in his ear something that none of us could make out. When she was done, Link got wide-eyed, and Ruto giggled. "No way! Not if I had to in order to save my life." Link yelled. "Link! Volume!" I said. "Sorry." He said.

"Fine then my lips are sealed!" Ruto said. There was a moment of silence. Then Link opened his mouth to say something but shut his mouth right afterward. They both stood fridged staring at each other. Neither blinked. Finally, Link gave up. "Alright, Fine." He said. I thought he was going to die as he walked over to me. Then he whispered in my ear. I didn't even understand it, it was so soft. "What? I didn't hear that!" I said. He sighed and whispered into my ear: "Joan, I need to borrow your spare dress. Ruto wants me to dress up as you!" "What?" I yelled so loud I must have woke up the entire Zora population, even the ones not in Hyrule. "Ruto, How about if I give you my spare outfit?" I asked. "Nope." She said. Clearly this girl was nice, but stubborn. "Okay. Ruto what if I…" And then I started to whisper into her, ear? Umm… Where her ear was supposed to be. When I was done, she giggled and said, "Alright that'll work. But only if it is a big wet one!" And then she giggled her head off.

When she was done she stared at me and nodded. She was obviously watching so I approached Link. "Link, this is for your own good." I said, then I went up to him and kissed him, right on the lips. Everything stopped, even time for a moment, then I relaxed. I pulled my lips away from his. Then we did the one thing we would do. We spat on the ground, wiping our lips.

"Joan," Link yelled, "What" (Spit) "did you do" (Spit, Wipe) "do that for?" (Spit) Link asked. "I didn't like that" (Spit, Wipe) "anymore than you did!" I replied through the spitting. Meanwhile, James and Ruto were laughing so hard; they fell off the edge of the platform. Janet just stood there watching all of us act like idiots.

Once everyone was done, as in Link and I spitting and Ruto and James laughing, we all gathered behind the throne. That way, no one would fall down off the ledge. "Alright. I'll tell you what you need to know." Ruto said, "But you two look like a great couple!"


	13. The Vacation We've All Been Waiting For!

Chapter 13- The Vacation We've All Been Waiting For!

Disclaimer- I do not own LoZ. I do not any contents. If you are reading this, you should know what those contents are. If you don't, I have no idea why you are reading this fiction. Do you? Anyway, All other contents are creations of my own design. So don't use them unless I said you could!

We all were following Ruto down a very long passage, I mean **_REALLY_** long! Like as long as your sister's hair after she's grown it for a year without cutting it at all. Not literally, of course. Eventually we reached a part of the lake I had never seen before. There were hundreds of Zora Scales, Zora Masks, and Zora… well everything. Even a boomerang mad of a single Zora scale. "Take your pick. Weapons to fight with, Scales to dive deeper, and even video games!" Ruto said. "**_Video Games?_**" James and I said together.

"Yes, even Zoras got to have fun!" Ruto said, "So stock up!" We all ran off in different directions. First, all of us got different colored scales. I got a gold scale. Link already had one. Janet is a Zora, so she doesn't nee one, and James can't swim. Then we all ran off to get different things. James was hypnotized by the wall, which were see-through and had fish swimming by them. Link looked at an Adult-sized Boomerang. I was looking at a swimsuit that was made all by Zora Scales and Zora Hide, which is really smooth depending on which side you use. So, since I didn't have anything to wear in the water, I took it off the rack. **Joan got the Zora's Swimsuit. This gives you something to wear in the water. It also lets you breathe infinitely underwater. A 2-for-1 deal! Equip to Clothes.** "Sweet deal!" I said. I also grabbed a boomerang! **Joan got the Fin's Boomerang. This boomerang is child's sized, but you will still be able to use it when you are older. Equip to C.**

"C'mon, times a-wasting! Te hee hee! I always wanted to say that." Ruto said, "Follow me." So, we did. And down another winding passage we went. It felt like another forever before we saw the light. And it took another good time before we actually reached the light. When we got there, we reached a big pool of water. What wowed me wasn't how _big_ it was, what impressed me was how **_deep_** it was, but it _was_ pretty deep, though. When I stared down into it, I saw a long light, getting dimmer and dimmer, until a strip of darkness, then more light. In the middle of the pool of water was… a tower! That must be the Aqua Tower. "Here you go! The answer to both of your questions. The water and the beach are your vacation, and in the middle is Aqua Tower. A big water beast lives here, and is really friendly. So, if you meet his, don't be afraid. Oh, and Joan, I made these just for you. They might help you." She handed me some goggles and left. "Bye guys!" She yelled as she left. Anyways, I stared at the goggles. **Joan got the Zora's Goggles. Now you can see underwater! Equip with C.** "Alright, cool. Well, I guess I'd better change." I said. I Ran around to the other side of the beach and changed. Janet jumped in the water, and James nearly died from sticking his toe in the water. This was going to be fun.


	14. Meeting the Water Beast

Chapter 14- Meeting the Water Creature

Zelda's Public Announcement- The person writing this fan-based fictional story has no ownership over me or any of my friends or the places we've been. But they do have ownership over all new people and places. Thank you.

Once I changed into my new swimsuit, I strapped on the goggles, and jumped into the water. The narrorating words were right; I could breathe underwater with this swimsuit on. Although, the swimsuit was tight and itchy, I was all right with the breathing. But if the swimsuit gives me a rash, then I am pummeling Ruto with the blunt end of my sword. She is going to be… well we'll get to that later.

I saw Janet swimming through the water I waved at her to come over to where I was. She swam over and signaled me to follow her, and so I did. But she was swimming way too fast. I tried to signal her to slow down. Ok, one thing about swimming underwater, never race a Zora. And the suddenly, she stopped. I tried to say "Thanks for waiting.", but water just flowed into my mouth. Well, it was already in my mouth. So I just shook her shoulder for a long time. Then I turned to se what she was mesmerized at. Then I noticed a big water snake. It had teeth the same height as me and Janet combined. It's eyes glowed algae green, and its teeth were yellow. He was about two miles long? Maybe five, because he wrapped himself up into some weird, formational curl. Oh, and he had finned hands; Two pairs every half-mile, but one big pair of fins at the front, and one big pair at the back. This must have been the water beast that Ruto talked about. Then he opened his mouth. I though he was going to eat us. Instead he said, "Can I help you two ladies with something." "You can talk?" I tried to say, forcing all the energy into my voice box and belting out as much noise for each word as I could. Then I noticed I needed to talk softer. So I said the sentence above softer, but with noise for each word. And what do you know, it worked! "You can talk?" I asked. The beast and Janet obviously heard me, because Janet turned and asked, "You were there the whole time? You were so quiet, I thought I lost you!" "Not so fast next time. Okay?" I said.

"You two must be here to look at the tower, right? Well, you can help yourselves, it is worn out by some weird, black mark." The beast said. "Dark Mark." Janet and I said in unison. "Can you take us to it? I asked. The beast came out of its comfy-looking position and slithered downwards. "Sure thing, girls! Just follow me." We kept at a slow pace the whole time. Luckily, We went slow enough for me to keep up. "Hey Joan?" Janet asked, "Do you think we should go get Link and James?"

"James can't swim. And besides, we can do this on our own. We aren't little girls. Or those cartoon characters that make some weird thingy to save the kingdom, win someone's heart, get married, and live happily ever after! Are we? We can take this on our own. Besides, the others are probably busy. We can wave out the window on our way up. _Then_ we give them details." I said.

"Good point." She said. The water beast was slithering away. And if I hadn't swum towards the tower and ran into it by accident, we would have never succeeded.


	15. The First To Be Continued Chapter

Chapter 15- Zelda Joins the Fray

Disclaimer- I don't own Zelda. I don't own anything related to Zelda. I do own any other character besides Zelda and co. You get the picture. This is getting real old…

After Janet and I wandered into the Aqua Tower, we were swimming for about thirty minutes, Five minutes into the Tower. I, of course, was completely beat. "Are you okay, Joan?" Janet asked me. "I… am… completely… wiped… of… energy… Help!" As you can see, I couldn't speak normal words. Then both of us saw a light. "Light…" She helped me swim up to the light. Then, our heads popped out of the water, and onto dry land. She set me onto the wall. I was dripping like crazy! Janet, on the other hand, either absorbed the water, or it just fell off all at once. Why? Because she wasn't dripping. I felt a burn on my hand, and then I got all of my energy back. "I feel good-as-new! Good ol' Triforce!" I said. And, I was very, very invigorated. "Good! Let's keep going up the stairs." Janet said, sounding like a coach. Lovely, stairs. By the time we got to the time we'd get to the next pool of water, I'd be sore again. "Let's get going before I get sore about thinking about going up fifty flights of stairs." I said with such an agony, that I was darker than this place was. But that was because we were still underwater. If we were going to see our friends, we would have to go up another few floors.

So we started up the steps. And we went up step after agonizing step. Walking and walking up the steps of doom, that were slowly bringing me into their stepdom. And if there were one thousand steps here, then I would be the one thousand and… first? Then SPLASH… into some water.

"Yah!" I said. "Joan, yah? I thought you hated swimming!" Janet asked. "No more evil agonizing steps. Yah!" I said again. "I see the steps have worn you out." Said a voice from behind us. It was, Shiek? "C'mon Zelda. You can't fool us. I know Shiek is Zelda, and you are **_way_** rusty from lack of practice. Your voice is too high." I said. "Yeah, Zelda. So take off that disguise. Besides, Shiek is way taller!" Janet said.

"Alright fine. But neither of you had better look. And cover your ears, you'll learn why in a second." This voice belonged to Zelda. Of course, her voice was a lot higher than Sheik's voice, even as a child. Janet jumped in the water and started swimming up ahead. I simply put on my goggles and swam below. Then, I heard the scream that pierced, even underwater, and knocked me out. It came from Zelda. "AAAIIIIIEEEEEGH!"

…

…

…

…

…

When I woke up, Zelda was waiting above me. She was waiting for us. "What happened?" I asked. "I taped myself up like a mummy before I left." Zelda said, "That way, I'd look like a boy. But I had to pull it all off. You don't ever want to do that. Trust me."

"So why did you come here?" I asked.

**_TO BE CONTINUED!_**


End file.
